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Why writing a book is like dating 💘📖

Author

John Lim
February 28, 2024

Goodbye February, we hardly knew you

March is the real month for finding the one … book idea that is ❤️📖

Time is sure getting trippy, from a January that felt like it would never end to a 29-day February that flew by in a blur. I wonder what March will bring?

This week I continue our look at writing your first book by tackling a question many of you have: what should I write about? 🤷🏻‍♂️

If you’ve ever tried to write a book and didn’t quite stick to the landing, you may have picked the wrong topic, one you only had a fleeting interest in. Alternately, you may have come down with a bad case of analysis paralysis from trying to pick from too many ideas; like the classic peanut butter problem only less tasty.

Starting today, I want you to take a different approach. I want you to think of picking a book idea like dating. You wouldn’t simply jump into a relationship with the first person you meet. Well, maybe you would (or have), but the risk is high that it won’t work out long term. Instead, you would go out on a bunch of first dates and experience the full gamut of emotions: numbing guilt at trying to remember who’s who, irrational disappointment when the one you weren’t interested in decides to tell you first that she’s not into you, and crushing disappointment when the one you do like ghosts before the third date. Still, you keep at it until eventually, you grow old and die a lonely death find the right one and settle into a long harmonious marriage.

So, let’s take a look at how you “date” book ideas to find the right one. The good news is that finding this one will be easier than finding “the one.”

-John

Moving Forward

Episode 459: Ideating your way to your first book idea

We’re now approaching the tail end of the first quarter of 2024 … 😳 … (sorry, had to let that sink in for a minute), and if writing your first book is one of your 2024 goals, it’s time to examine why you haven’t started yet. It’s probably because you don’t know what to write it on (yet). You know you want to write a book, you’ve seen others do it, but you’re just not sure which idea to go with or if the idea you have is strong enough for a long term commitment.

Being in this spot can be tricky. Writing a book isn’t like writing an email or even a short story. Short form pieces have little at stake and low risk of not finishing. They’re like those pleasant one-off dates where you have a nice enough time but no chemistry so you part as friends only to never speak to one another again. However, books require a lot more than simply a couple hours of forced smiles and awkward chit chat. Have you picked up a book lately? Those things are long, with the average one being over 200 pages. That’s a lot of words, which means a lot of time and sacrifice.

When it comes to failed attempts at writing your first book, the root cause is usually one of two culprits. Either you only had a fleeting interest in your idea; throwing in the towel after a few paragraphs or, you had so many ideas that as my dad once said “you looked in the fridge, saw too much food, and couldn’t decide what to eat,” so you did nothing except get freezer burn.

Both roads lead to the same dead end of your tome going into a tomb. It’s the disconnect of wanting to start your magnum opus now when you haven’t settled on the right idea. And this is how writing a book is like dating. If you’re single (or remember when you were single), you know that dating is simple in theory but harder in practice. You understand that it’s a prerequisite to find someone special to build a long term relationship with. However, putting that kind of expectation on someone you just met is a recipe for disaster. Dating takes time, which means going through a lot of starts and stops before you find someone who gets you and is willing to put up with your weird quirks. Writing a book, especially your first, requires a similar process. Very rarely can an author just sit down and start writing off the cuff and it’s rarer still that one can do so as a first time author. Instead, you have to find the right idea or story, spend time developing it, and even introduce it to your family and friends.

Don’t rush the process. Go out on a lot of “first dates” with your ideas. If one of them clicks, spend time getting to know it, experience it at its best and worst to make sure it’s the right one to take that leap with.

Learn more on this week’s episode, now playing on Spotify.

❝

Before you start, you identify the one idea that is compelling to you, interesting to you but will also be the easiest one for you to approach.

-Some dude on a podcast

What else on this week’s episode:

  • Why you should choose the “easiest” idea for your first book and exactly what that means.

  • Why you shouldn’t completely discard the more challenging ideas even if they aren’t good candidates for your first book.

  • Why you should get over your fear of talking about your book with your harshest critics (i.e. your family and friends).

  • How to do the ideation process using nothing more than a few sheets of paper and a pen.

  • How to ideate novels.

Hacks

Going out on “dates” with your book ideas

On this week’s episode, I share how to find your first book idea through a process called “ideation.” If you’re mulling over many candidates, make a list with two columns. On the left, write every topic you enjoy talking about or are interested in. On the right, list everything you’re good at, including skills learned and experiences gained. From there, start identifying the idea that really speak to you; ideally one that touches columns 1 and 2. For level 2, create an ideation list for your one topic (or do a few lists if you have more than one candidate) extrapolating it in greater detail. Once you find a topic that fills up a lot of paper, comes a little more naturally to you compared to the others, you’ve found a good candidate for your first book.

Charts but thankfully no math (unless you’re writing a math book that is).

This is how you “date” your book ideas to find one that’s a good fit. Remember, don’t rush to the keyboard-alter with the first one you meet. Instead, get to know your ideas before committing to one, exclusively. Best of all, book ideas won’t care if you take them out for coffee or to The Cheesecake Factory.

If you want to learn more about ideation and a step-by-step process to start, finish, and self-publish your first book, my next writing course starts March 28th through The Johns Hopkins Odyssey program.

Weekly quirky news

Wendy’s grilled over “surge” pricing 🍔📉, Macy’s needs another miracle from Kris Kringle 🏬🎅, Apple pulls the plug on EV 🍎🔌 đŸš—, classic cars and slang from 1️⃣9️⃣9️⃣0️⃣, and remembering a sweater wearing icon 🚎🏰

  • Wendy’s recently stirred controversy over whether it would introduce a variable pricing model based on peak order times similar to Uber’s, starting in 2025. The CEO later clarified it would not adopt “surge” pricing following backlash online, but rather use AI to create more dynamic menu offerings. For a hot minute, I was wondering if we would eventually see call and put options on frosty shakes.

  • Macy’s will close 150 stores in favor of smaller upscale boutiques through its Bloomingdale’s and Blue Mercury brands. Perhaps, as Bryan Bedford noted in the 1994 rendition of Miracle on 34th Street, “I think you should ask Santa Claus to give Cole’s [in-movie universe name for Macy’s], an interest free loan.”

  • Apple ditches its decade long EV project in favor of AI. In other words, you won’t be driving an 🍎 đŸš— while wearing your 🍎 đŸĽ˝ to get Wendy’s 🍟, down $0.25, during the 2 pm post-lunch rush, anytime soon.

  • Did you know that the “Panther platform” line of cars from the 1990s-2000s, including the Ford Crown Victoria, Mercury Grand Marquis, and Lincoln Town Car are considered among the best used cars on the road? There’s a reason why they were a staple of police forces and grandparents across the nation.

  • ”Clutch the pearls” was apparently “new slang” in the 1990s and not just a derelict from the 1950s. Also I somehow missed ”Black and Decker” as a euphemism for “difficult task.”

  • Remembering Mister Rogers who passed away on February 27, 2003.

Upcoming

Don’t wait until “one day” to write your first book unless that day is March 28th.

Write and Self-Publish Your First Book With a Step-by-Step Plan with John Lim | Johns Hopkins Events

If writing a book is one of your 2024 goals, take my next writing and self-publishing class, which starts March 28th. It’s through the Johns Hopkins Odyssey program and open to the public (discounts for Hopkins alum).

events.jhu.edu/form/odysseylimterm2spring24

Resources

Teach a man to fish, you know the rest (if you don’t, check these out).

  • Book a coaching call with me on Clarity.

  • Follow me on Goodreads for book recommendations.

  • Check out one of my favorite daily newsletters Morning Brew (affiliate referral link).

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