Issue 44: Be careful, two steps collaborating ...

🎶 Oh, the weather outside is … confusing

From temperatures in the 20s to the 60s and now reverse aging into the teens; from blankets of snow to melting burgs to glacial layers on the pavement. Each day, getting dressed and ready to venture outside is about as straightforward as the tax code.

Since that’s a recipe for a cold, I’m going to keep this short and to the point. It’s gelid, er cool, breezy, freezing out there. Best to bring a trunk of clothes with you, just to be on the safe side.

Equally mercurial and unpredictable is collaborating on a podcast (or book for that matter), the subject of this week’s Moving Forward.

-John

Moving Forward 494: A look back at collaboration: the good, the bad, the ugly

When in doubt, just say “no” (or stall by saying, “Yeah, let me get back to you on that.”)

“Collaboration” is a buzzword to some, a dirty unmentionable to others. It can make you smile with the anticipation of climbing a mountain with an experienced sherpa or wince at having to carry a 800 lb slacker gorilla who doesn’t show up to a group presentation. In my days as a workabee, student, and soloprenuer, I’ve experienced some form of both and a lot of in between.

We all have life lessons that are hard to learn the first go round; requiring several knocks and bumps until they finally penetrate our skulls and burns themselves into those synapses and neurons. For me, it was picking the right people to collaborate with, or rather saying no to the wrong ones.

When I launched Moving Forward, I was insecure. That’s the overriding feeling I had that outweighed any excitement, thrill, or joy I had at venturing into something completely new. So much so that I decided to invite a co-host to join me in launching the podcast. The idea looked great on paper: alternating weeks between a career and business episode with a personal and self-development themed one. But really, I was simply insecure and uncertain about whether I could pull this off on my own.

That is to say, I collaborated for the wrong reasons. This led to carelessness on my part, replete with a lack of critical thinking. The result was a hodgepodge that felt like two completely separate shows mashed into one rather than a coherent and complementary program. This coupled with the lack of an exit strategy is why the first few seasons hobbled and never quite walked much less run.

Towards the end of the second season, I made the decision to end the collaboration and retool the podcast. From there, I was able to focus Moving Forward and better connect with its audience. Though an exit was still seasons away, I was on the right track. Regrettably, those lessons didn’t stick as I would repeat this same mistake again several years later when I entered into a co-authorship for two books; an experience that was even more disappointing and disjointed.

Today, as I look back on my journey in content creation, both as a podcaster and an author, I take a harder, more skeptical eye towards collaboration for its own sake. Over the past several years, I have declined invitations from friends and former classmates to collaborate on projects. I have zero regrets in saying no. The momentary sting that that person may have felt at my “no” was fleeting and the friendships remain intact. This is not the case with the aforementioned instances, in which I said “yes” for all the wrong reasons.

Collaboration should be seen and treated as a formal partnership with proper vetting: serious discussion and agreements, including dispute resolution protocols, and a “if all goes wrong” contingency escape hatch in place. And please, take it seriously. Don’t let friendship or affection for someone you know in a social context blind you. If anything, take a more skeptical eye when evaluating whether you should enter into a business partnership or collaboration with someone you call a friend because when things go awry (as they will), the first thing that’s at risk is your friendship.

Equally importantly, and much like romantic relationships, the quality of your collaboration is directly correlated to the energy you put out into the world. If you seek a life partner with a mindset of desperation, insecurity, and anxiety that is what you will attract. You will make bad choices that will lead to heartache and heartbreak. Similarly, if you enter into a collaboration based on insecurity or seeking a “security blanket” of working with a friend so you don’t have to venture alone, you risk ending up with more work and less output while putting up your friendship as collateral. That’s not to say that collaborating with friends can’t work. I’ve seen examples of very successful partnerships between and among friends. But in my humble opinion, they require even more scrutiny than working with someone you don’t have a personal connection with. In other words, choose to collaborate because you can clearly see the gaps they fill that will lead to a better result; be it skills, perspectives, or experiences. If you can’t articulate what the other person brings to the table, you’re better off declining and maintaining your friendship.

This is a hard lesson that I’ve had to learn repeatedly. Thankfully, as I’m nearing the closing chapter of Moving Forward it’s finally starting to sink in. It only took 10 years and 490+ episodes.

Catch this week’s episode on Spotify.

Moving Forward is also available on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, iHeart, CastBox, Pocket Casts, Spotify for Podcasters (formerly Anchor), and Audible.

^{*Affiliate disclosure: these are links through which I earn a commission from qualifying referrals and / or purchases.}

Moving Forward

What’s ahead this season.

1. Moving Forward season 12: Moving Forward’s final season will be split into three parts with the first seven episodes serving as a retrospective. Part III will wrap the show with episode 500, the series finale.

2. Moving Forward release schedule:

   • Season 12, Part 1 (episodes 493-496) will air Thursdays, starting Jan. 9th, and concluding on Thursday, Jan. 30th.

   • Season 12, Part 2 (episodes 497-499) will air Thursdays, starting Feb. 13th, and concluding on Thursday, Feb. 27th.

   • Season 12, Part 3 (episode 500) will air sometime in late March 2025.

3. The Weekly Quirk: The newsletter resumes today (Friday, Jan. 10th) with issue 43. The remaining issues will be released on Fridays, coinciding with the podcast schedule, and concluding with issue 50 on Friday, Feb. 28th sometime in late March.

_{[Note: Upon conclusion of the podcast and newsletter, all Moving Forward episodes and The Weekly Quirk issues will remain available to stream and read online so long as I’m able to keep them published cost-free via their respective host providers. However, while I would like to keep them preserved for posterity sake, I can’t guarantee they will be available forever. Additional note: the copyright to all content, including audio and literary rights, remains with me, my assigns, and my heirs, regardless of publication status.]}

Available now at my bookstore on Pangobooks

John Grisham showcasing the dangers of collaboration by titling a legal thriller, “The Partner.”

Quirky reads 📚

Speaking of good books, here are some titles I’ve been reading lately.

[Affiliate disclosure: these are affiliate links to Amazon through which I earn a commission from qualifying purchases.]

• Extinction by Douglas Preston (not yet reviewed)

• Follow me on Goodreads for book recommendations and to see what else I’m reading.

Upcoming (January 28th, 2025)

My next writing class starts January 2025 - virtual class through Johns Hopkins Odyssey (open to all with discounts for Hopkins alum).

Upcoming (February 20, 2025)

Declutter Your Home and Free Your Life - in person class through Johns Hopkins Osher (Osher membership required).

Upcoming (March 25, 2025)

Declutter Your Home and Free Your Life - virtual class through Johns Hopkins Odyssey (open to all with discounts for Hopkins alum).

Resources

Teach a man to fish, you know the rest (if you don’t, check these out).

• Book a coaching call with me on Clarity.

• Follow me on Goodreads for book recommendations.

• Check out one of my favorite daily newsletters Morning Brew (affiliate referral link).

Books

I wrote most of these so spruce up your home library and look smart in the process.

• The Poshmark Guide for Individuals and Small Businesses (Paperback, Kindle, Audible) 

• The Poshmark Guide for Individuals and Small Businesses (Apple audiobooks)

• The Poshmark Journal for Individuals and Small Businesses

• The Corporate Cliches Adult Coloring Book

• I Am a Professional Metalhead (audiobook) (Audible affiliate link) written by Angelo Spenillo, narrated by John Lim

Support the newsletter and podcast

“What are you selling?!?” -actual quote from a b-school classmate

• Books! Check out my used bookstore on Pangobooks.

• Try out Audible (affiliate paid link).

• Try out Amazon Prime (affiliate paid link)

Affiliate disclosure

Note: Links to Amazon and Audible products are affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.